


It Doesn't Have To Be Like This

by angstfortheangstgod



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Good Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Insane Wilbur Soot, Jschlatt Redemption, Running Away, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Set Before November 16th, Set Pre-Festival, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo and TommyInnit Run Away, Villain Wilbur Soot, i wanna give into the primal urge to run away and build my own house in a flower field, someone get the stick because the author is projecting again, technoblade is a good brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27960860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstfortheangstgod/pseuds/angstfortheangstgod
Summary: Tired of being child soldiers, Tommy and Tubbo decide to leave Manburg and Pogtopia all together.  They wander for days without stop until they feel far enough away, settling down and building their own home.Title from "Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales" by Car Seat Headrest
Relationships: Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 36
Kudos: 404
Collections: Tommy and Tubbo Friendship Supremacy





	1. Drunk Drivers

_ We are not a proud race _

_ It's not a race at all _

_ We're just trying _

_ I'm only trying to get home _

_ Drunk drivers, drunk drivers _

“It’s official!” Tommy declared as he walked into the forest clearing that he and Tubbo had designated as their meetup spot. “Wilbur has gone insane!”

“Mind giving me a little more context on that one?” Tubbo asked with a small smile, but he didn’t push it anymore as Tommy sat down on the ground beside him and laid his head on the older boy.

Tommy sighed, burying his face in Tubbo’s shoulder. “You know the festival that Schlatt announced a few days ago?”

“How could I not?” Tubbo replied with a chuckle. “I’m the one he tasked with decorating it.”

“Wilbur wants to rig the whole thing with TNT and blow it up.”

Everything went quiet. It seemed as though the entire world stopped moving as Tubbo registered Tommy’s words.

“He wants to do  _ what _ ?!” Tubbo shouted, shooting up from his place on the ground.

“He wants to blow up Manburg,” Tommy muttered, refusing to get up from where he was sitting in the grass. “Keeps going on about how he wants to be a villain.”   
Tubbo began to pace the small clearing, wringing his hands together. “Have you tried to talk him out of it?”

“Of course I have!” Tommy defended. “He won’t listen to anyone! And Dream is only feeding into his madness and supplying him with TNT!”

Neither of the boys said anything as Tubbo continued to pace. Tommy only watched quietly as his friend continued to worry, unsure of what to say to make it better.

“This is great! This is just perfect!” Tubbo shouted, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “This war is just going swimmingly! Wilbur has apparently gone insane, I’m pretty sure Schlatt suspects me of treason, and we have to keep fighting in a war as if we’re not fucking teenagers!”

Tommy stood up and moved in front of Tubbo, effectively stopping his pacing. When the slightly older boy froze in his tracks, Tommy grabbed onto his hands, grounding him back in reality.

“You’re going to work yourself into a panic attack,” Tommy told him, voice sounding disinterested, but Tubbo could see the worry in his friend’s eyes. “Take some deep breaths, or whatever.”

Tubbo took a few moments to just breathe, closing his eyes and letting Tommy’s grip on his hands ground him back in reality. In for one, two, three four. Hold for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Out for one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. He repeated this pattern a few times, allowing himself to recede from the panic that had begun to encompass his mind and fog up his senses. He didn’t know when it happened, but, when he opened his eyes again, he saw that he and Tommy were now seated on the ground again, and that Tommy hadn’t released the comforting hold on his hands.

Neither of them spoke, instead just letting the quietness of the forested clearing wash over them, like a calming embrace. Tubbo let himself be held by the sunrays peeking through the leaves and shining across his skin. It was a moment so untouched by the war they had been caught up in that it almost felt like nothing had changed. It almost felt like the revolution had never even happened, and they were still just kids running around in the forest. And Tubbo wanted nothing more than that.

So he didn’t even think as the next words came tumbling out of his mouth.

“What if we just . . . left?”

Tommy gave him an incredulous look, which Tubbo missed, since he was too busy looking up at the leaves. “What do you mean?”

“We could leave!” Tubbo told his friend, desperation in his voice. “We could leave behind Manburg and Pogtopia. We could escape from this stupid fucking war and just go be kids again!”

Tommy looked away, pulling his hands back so he could wrap his arms around himself. “I don’t know. It just feels . . . wrong. We’ve spent so much time here and fought so hard to just abandon it now.”

“But think about it, Tommy,” Tubbo pleaded. “We could have a house in a flower field, and we could grow our own food and have our own cattle and have a bee farm! It could be right near an ocean so we could go swimming and take walks on the beach! Doesn’t that sound perfect? Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?”

There were few seconds where Tommy didn’t say anything, just staring down at the ground and not uttering a sound. It was in those moments that Tubbo’s face fell from hope into some strange mix of hurt and disappointment, as he realized that his best friend was about to reject the offer. With a heavy heart, Tubbo began to stand up, ready to walk back to Manburg and face another day of being on Schlatt’s cabinet. Before he could take a single step, however, Tommy finally spoke up.

“Can we build the house out of cobblestone?”

Tubbo turned back, only to find his best friend looking up at him with a smile on his face and hope shining in his eyes.

“Absolutely not,” Tubbo replied, but his smile outshone his deadpan answer.

Tommy chuckled at the answer, pushing himself up from the ground and opening his arms. Tubbo didn’t hesitate to rush forward into the embrace, nearly knocking the taller boy over with the sheer force at which he ran at him. Once again, Tommy laughed joyously, wrapping his arms around his friend and holding him close.

“Let’s meet back here tonight,” Tommy whispered just loud enough that Tubbo could hear him, “when the moon is fully in the sky. Bring whatever you want to take with you, and we’ll head east.”

Tubbo nodded frantically, tears coming to his eyes as he realized  _ holy shit, they were actually going to do this.  _ Tommy’s hold on Tubbo only tightened as the boy began to cry a little bit, feeling relieved that they were finally going to leave this war behind them.

_ This is not a good thing. I don't mean to rationalize or try and explain it away. It's not okay. Drunk drivers, drunk drivers. _

✧✧✧

With a deep breath, Tommy shrugged his jacket on and grabbed his bag, placing it over his shoulders. He let himself take one final look around that had become his room for the past few months, but . . . he knew he had never felt a real connection to it. This ravine was not his home, and it was never meant to be. He had once considered L’manburg his home, but Pogtopia had always been an in-between, a temporary place while he was fighting for his old home back. But now neither Manburg, nor Pogtopia, nor the Dream SMP were a home. He didn’t have a home at the moment, except for the boy he would be meeting in the woods in only a few minutes, so they could go build a home together.

Tommy took cautious steps forward, opening the wooden door of his room and walking out into the tunnels of Pogtopia. He shut the door gently behind him, so as to not wake anybody up, and began his ascent back to the surface, where he planned to steal one of his brother’s horses𑁋 sorry, Techno𑁋 and head into the woods. The journey through the little country he had helped to build felt longer than it usually was, but Tommy figured that it was perhaps because it was going to be the last time he ever saw it. He found that fact comforting; he was tired of the ravine and the madman in its walls.

He was hit by a cool breeze as he left the tunnels and emerged into the outside world, and he couldn’t help but shiver a bit at the night air. He found himself feeling rather lucky that it was nearing summer; after all, it would be a lot easier to build a house during the warmer months as opposed to when it was snowing.

With footsteps muffled by the grass, he approached the stables, hidden by a few cliffs, and desperately shushed the horses that neighed as he approached. With a small  _ ‘click’ _ he unlatched one of the doors, preparing to lead the horse of his choice out of the stable.

“What are you doing?”

Tommy startled, turning around and facing the person behind him with wide eyes. A few meters away stood Techno, who was looking at the teen with a deadpan face and eyes gleaming with suspicion.

“Uh, hi, Techno! I’m not doing anything, nothing at all! I’m just here to see the horses,” Tommy rushed out all at once, hoping the puny excuse would be enough to get the older man to leave him alone.

“Then why were you opening one of the stable doors?” Techno crossed his arms, knowing he had caught the younger man in a lie.

Tommy sighed, letting his shoulders sag a bit. “Tubbo and I are leaving. We’re tired of being child soldiers and we’re tired of fighting these wars. I was going to try to steal one of your horses so we could get away quicker and with a lower chance of anybody catching us.”

Techno was quiet for a few seconds, staring at Tommy with a calculating glare that made the boy want to sink into the earth. After what felt like a lifetime, Techno walked forwards, motioning Tommy out of the way and closing the stable door. Tommy opened his mouth to apologize, but Techno only walked along the stable, opening another door and leading a different horse out. He was quick to saddle up the horse and lead him by the reins to Tommy.

“If you’re trying to get away quickly, then Knight will do you better,” Techno told the boy, handing over the reins. “He’s my second fastest. Take good care of him, and get yourself somewhere safe. Also send Tubbo my well wishes.”

Tommy looked up at the man with hopeful eyes and a wide smile. He rushed forwards and took his oldest brother into a hug, which Techno begrudgingly returned.

“Once you settle down, send me the coordinates. No matter how far you go, you’re still my little brother.”

Tommy buried his head into Techno’s shoulder. “Just as long as you promise not to tell anybody else.”

“I promise.”

Techno let Tommy go, watching with a sad smile as his little brother got up onto the horse and gave him one last wave, riding off into the forest.

_ It's too late to articulate it, that empty feeling. You share the same fate as the people you hate. You build yourself up against other’s feelings. _

✧✧✧

Back in Manburg, Tubbo was racing around his house, grabbing the last of the things he needed and shoving them haphazardly into his bags. He knew he had to pack light, hence why he only had a couple of small bags that could easily be attached to a horse’s saddle. It was only after looking over his bedroom for the fifteenth time that he realized that he was just stalling his departure, so obviously anxious about what came next.

Tubbo knew this was his idea, he was aware that he was the one that had persuaded Tommy into agreeing to it, but that didn’t stop guilt and worry from churning in his stomach. He was leaving everything, and almost everyone, he knew behind. He didn’t even know where he was going, instead just imagining some unknown place which he wasn’t sure even existed. There was no guide or manual on how to run away from the country you helped fight for and build. He was alone on this one.

And yet, this didn’t deter him. With a deep breath and a final glance around the home he had built, Tubbo turned around and left, shutting the door behind him. He took a glance around the street his house was on, making sure that nobody was out and about, before pulling up his hood and beginning to power walk towards the forest just outside of Manburg’s territory, where he knew Tommy was likely already waiting.

The walk was brisk and uninterrupted, and it felt like it took hours, even though it only took a few minutes to reach the end of Manburg’s borders. Tubbo stepped over the imaginary line without so much as a glance back at the country he technically helped run. Instead of torturing himself with memories of war and elections, he simply let himself slip through the trees and enter into the forest, walking the familiar path to the little clearing that he had designated as a safe haven from the constant wars.

The leaves crunched underfoot as he ducked under tree branches and hopped over logs, keeping a tight grip on his bag the entire time. His entire body felt lighter the further he got from Manburg, as if weights were being lifted off of his shoulders. When he finally made it to the clearing, he felt lighter than he had since the L’Manburg Revolution.

“Tubbo!”

Tubbo immediately spotted Tommy in the clearing, holding onto the reins of a horse. He immediately rushed over, embracing the taller boy. Tommy only laughed, giving into the hug for a minute before pulling away and taking Tubbo’s bags. He handed the reins to Tubbo and attached the bags to the saddle, making sure they were secure. Finally, he took the reins back and hopped onto the horse. Tommy then held his hand out to Tubbo, who froze.

_ Was he actually about to do this? Was he really going to up and leave? Was he truly about to leave everything he knew behind to start a new life? _

Tubbo took a glance up at his best friend, and then back down at the hand offered to him, and he knew the answer.

_ Hell yeah he was. _

Tubbo grabbed onto Tommy’s hand and pushed himself up onto the horse, letting go once he was fully seated. Without a single word spoken, Tommy gave the horse a small kick and they headed off eastward, in the direction that the sun would be rising in only a few hours' time.

_ And it left you feeling empty as a car coasting downhill. I have become such a negative person. It was all just an act. It was all so easily stripped away. _

✧✧✧

Not too long into the journey. Tubbo had fallen asleep, leaning forward and resting his head against Tommy’s shoulder. Of course, Tommy didn’t mind at all. He had chosen to rest before the journey, and wasn’t surprised that Tubbo hadn’t. So, instead of waking him up, Tommy let the boy rest throughout the night.

Tubbo only began to stir a few hours later, as the sun was rising up. They were moving towards it, though they had no clue where it was leading them. It took Tubbo a moment to get his bearings and realize where he was, moving through some grassy plains on horseback. That’s when he remembered that he had left, and he couldn’t help but that he didn’t feel the slightest bit of regret.

“Morning!” Tommy greeted, excitement present in his tone. “You were out for a few hours and I didn’t want to wake you, so I just kept going. Knight has kept up really well, but we’ll probably have to stop in a few hours to let him rest for a bit.”

Tubbo nodded, still letting sleep fall away from him, but suddenly a question popped up in his head.

“Wait, Tommy, where did you even get this horse?”

Tommy chuckled a bit, though it sounded nervous. “It’s a funny story actually. I was going to steal one of Techno’s horses, but I forgot that he had a weird sleep schedule, so he ended up catching me. I told him we were leaving and admitted that I was planning on taking one of his horses.”

Anxiety bubbled up in Tubbo’s chest as he realized that somebody knew that they were leaving.

“It’s okay, though!” Tommy was quick to reassure. “He understood why we were leaving and gave me his second fastest horse! I promised that I’d send him the coordinates when we settled down as long as he swore he wouldn’t tell anybody where we are! He’s still my older brother, ya know? And I still love him no matter what.”

Tubbo nodded, taking a few deep breaths to rid himself of the panic that had begun to creep up on him. “And you really think he won’t tell anyone?”

“I’ve known Techno since I was ten, and he always keeps his promises.”

Tubbo nodded in satisfaction at the answer, and the two fell back into silence, continuing their long ride to wherever they were headed. After a half hour, however, Tubbo’s stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten since dinner the night prior. Before the boy could say anything, though, Tommy was reaching into one of the bags hanging off Knight’s saddle and handing an apple to Tubbo.

“I figured we’d get hungry along the way and probably wouldn’t be up for hunting, so I prepared accordingly.”

“Thanks!” Tubbo replied, taking the apple and biting into it. The two boys went silent again as Tubbo ate his apple, throwing the core out into the grass once he had finished it.

While Tommy was focused on the way forward, Tubbo couldn’t help but look around the land they were passing. It was awfully pretty, though definitely not the right place for them to settle down. Still, he could appreciate the tall grass and the small animals he sometimes spotted hiding in the shrubs. There was nobody around for miles and the air was still and quiet, so different from the constant buzz of anticipation and war that seemed to constantly linger in the atmospheres of Manburg and Pogtopia. It was a welcome change.

“How will we know where to settle?” Tubbo found himself asking without really thinking about the question. Even from behind, he could see Tommy thinking over his words. It was a reasonable question, after all.

“I think we’ll just know,” Tommy replied. “I think we’ll see somewhere and it’ll just click that it’s the right place for us.”

“But what if we never feel that.”

“Then we’ll figure it out from there, but I have a good feeling that we’ll be able to find our place, no matter how far away it is.”

Everything was silent again, and it stayed like that for quite a few hours, as they left the grassy plains and found themselves back in a forested region, as they ate a quick lunch, as they took a couple hours in the afternoon to let Knight rest. When the sun began to set behind them, Tubbo began to notice Tommy’s eyes drooping, so he was quick to intervene.

“You should rest,” Tubbo insisted. “I can steer for a while.”

Tommy let out a yawn, but stayed stubborn as ever. “Are you sure? I can easily stay awake for longer if you want to sleep.”

“I took a small nap in the afternoon, but you haven’t slept since yesterday. You should seriously rest before you pass out.”

Tommy finally agreed, albeit begrudgingly. He brought Knight to a standstill and the two boys hopped off, switching spots before heading off again. It wasn’t long before Tubbo felt Tommy lean against his back and fall asleep.

_ ‘Sure, he was totally not tired,’  _ Tubbo thought to himself, his internal voice dripping with sarcasm.

As he continued the journey forwards, through the dark night, Tubbo couldn’t help but think over his best friend’s words of how the right place would click for them when they found it. Deep down, he knew that Tommy was right, but his own anxieties made him worry about the possibility that they never found the perfect spot.  _ What if they had to go back to Manburg? What if their journey was futile? What if it took too long? _

It turned out, however, that it wouldn’t actually take too long, because, after two more boring days of travel, Tubbo was shaken awake by Tommy a little after dawn. The older boy had been sleeping after Tommy had insisted that he could steer for the night, and Tubbo had agreed under the condition that Tommy would wake him up if he got too tired to safely steer them.

Tubbo grumbled as he was taken from sleep and brought back to the real world. He looked over at Tommy, who was beginning to get off the horse.

“Is everything okay?” Tubbo asked, concern laced into his voice.

“Look!” Tommy insisted, pointing towards the land before them.

Tubbo followed his direction and found himself staring out at a place that he had only ever dreamed of seeing. They were in front of a flower field, alive with butterflies and bees buzzing all around the place. The field was on a cliff that overlooked the ocean, where gentle waves were crashing over the sand. A quick look to the side revealed that the cliff turned into a hill that curved around and led directly onto the beach so one could get down to the water without having to make the dangerous leap off the cliff.

All of it together, right in front of Tubbo, made it click, just like Tommy had described.

“It’s perfect,” Tubbo whispered as he got down from Knight. “It’s exactly like how I imagined it.”

Tommy turned to him with a smile. “I saw it and it just . . . clicked.”

Tubbo returned the smile. “Yeah . . . it really did, huh?”

The two stared out at the sea for a little bit, watching as the sun rose above the waves and painted the sky a rosy pink. It was calm and quiet, surrounded by a peacefulness that neither of them had felt for a good while. It felt like everything was coming together.

“Let’s get building,” Tubbo declared.

_ But if we learn how to live like this, maybe we can learn how to start again, like a child who's never done wrong, who hasn't taken that first step. _

✧✧✧

A glance behind the two revealed a forest not too far away, perfect for collecting wood for their house. Tubbo took over the project, as he was the true architect between them, and Tommy took on the role of collecting all the materials that Tubbo asked him to get, though not before jokingly grumbling about how they should be building it out of cobblestone. Of course, Tubbo easily ignored the complaints.

By the time the sun was setting, the two had already laid out the foundation and built the four walls of the house. It was rather spacious, though they didn’t make it too large, seeing as they could always expand it later if needed. Along with that, they had already put up fencing for a pen, figuring they could build a barn later, as well as marking off the land where they would start creating a farm to grow food.

After a long day, the two found themselves laying on the ground, which was just grass because they hadn’t installed flooring yet, and inside the four walls of their house. They stared up at the sky, as they didn’t have a roof yet. Tubbo reached his hand out and Tommy grabbed it without hesitation, the two holding onto each other to ground themselves.

“I can’t believe we actually did it,” Tubbo admitted, voice quiet as if he didn’t want to disturb the gentle atmosphere.

“I know,” Tommy whispered in reply, staring up at the stars. “It doesn’t feel real.”

The two lapsed back into silence, just letting themselves breathe the fresh air that smelled of freedom, of being children again, of being far away from tyrannical leaders and insane older brothers and the blood-filled stench of war. They were free again.

Tubbo, for the first time in ages, felt like he was home. He was home, next to his best friend, in their far from finished house, listening to the distant sounds of the waves coming onto the shore and receding moments later. It was warm, despite the cool breeze that accompanied the spring night.

Tomorrow, they would have to get up earlier and start building again. In fact, that would likely be their reality for the next few months, as they had to continue building their house from the ground up. They would have to go hunting, and collect more materials, and pray to whatever gods were out there that their farm would provide a good harvest in the autumn. But, for tonight, they got to rest, and that was all they really wanted.

_ We are not a proud race. It's not a race at all. We're just trying, I'm only trying to get home. Drunk drivers, drunk drivers. _

✧✧✧

“Look at it!” Tubbo shouted excitedly as he stood in front of the finished house.

It was on the cliffside, though far enough away that there was no risk of falling off. Next to it sat a farm, which Tommy tended to, seeing as his father had been a farmer and the boy grew up learning how to plant and harvest. Behind the wooden house was a pen and a barn, with several animals that they’d managed to lure there with food. Next to the barn was a bee farm that Tubbo had put his entire heart and soul into making. The house itself was two stories, the whole thing handcrafted lovingly by the two teens. It had a front deck with steps that led up to the door and potted plants hanging from the small hang-over roof above the porch.

Tommy walked up beside Tubbo, staring up at the home that the two had worked on for months, constantly laboring away to make it perfect. Tubbo grabbed his hand and pulled him up the steps, excitedly entering the house. Despite having been living there for a while and seeing the progress as it was being made, Tubbo still insisted that he and Tommy take a final look around at the finished product. He led them around the first floor, through the foyer, the living room, the kitchen, so on and so forth, before dragging him upstairs, walking around to each bedroom and linen closet with such amazement that Tommy joked that it was like Tubbo hadn’t been the one to plan and control the project.

While Tubbo was distracted with talking about one of the bedrooms, Tommy took a moment to take out his communicator, pulling up his messages with one person in particular.

_ You whisper to Technoblade: Here are my coordinates: ******** _

_ You whisper to Technoblade: I was going to send them sooner, but I didn’t want to send them until we finished building our house _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: Thank you. I miss you a lot. _

_ You whisper to Technoblade: I miss you too. Feel free to visit, just give us a warning first. _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: I’ll visit soon. _

_ Technoblade whispers to you: I’ll give you a heads up first. _

Tubbo turned back to Tommy and the boy put away his communicator, smiling half because of his excited best friend and half because he knew he would see his brother sometime soon.

With the house finished, and the end of summer nearing, the two sat outside on the front deck, looking over the beach at the bottom of the cliff. Bees buzzed around them and the breeze made the wind chimes sing a gentle tune. When the two pretended hard enough, it was almost as if the wars they had fought in were a distant dream, if only they didn’t still wake from nightmares that were more akin to memories or cry at the scars that marked their bodies.

“I think leaving was the best decision I ever made,” Tommy admitted to Tubbo in a moment of vulnerability that Tubbo hadn’t truly seen since their first nights after settling down.

“Yeah . . . I think so too.”

_ Put it out of your mind and perish the thought. There's no comfort in responsibility. Drunk drivers, drunk drivers. _

✧✧✧


	2. Killer Whales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Tubbo get an unexpected visitor and begin to prepare for a journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry it took me so long to update. i've been super busy with school and my part time job. i wrote this while I was supposed to be studying for my midterms, so enjoy :]

_ It doesn't have to be like this _

_ It doesn't have to be like this _

_ It doesn't have to be like this _

_ Killer whales, killer whales _

Schlatt had no clue how long he had been walking, nor did he know where he was going. All he knew was two things: he had lost a lot of blood, and Wilbur Soot was the biggest bitch on the entirety of the Dream SMP. As he limped through some forested area, likely far, far away from his own SMP, he wondered if he was going to die alone in the woods, with nobody to ever find his body. 

_ If he was so far away from L’Manburg, would anybody get a notification if he died? _

His mind gave a resounding  _ no  _ to that question, and he decided that he really didn’t want to think about it anymore. So, instead, he continued his journey onwards, praying that he could find someone,  _ anyone _ , to help him out. He was so lost in his hopes of help that he barely noticed as he emerged from the forest. The only thing that notified him of that was the morning sun suddenly shining right into his eyes. He put an injured hand up to block the direct light, finally noticing that his prayers had been answered.

_ Maybe those sky gods that Wilbur always went on about were real. _

With a renewed strength, Schlatt limped forwards to the house as fast as he possibly could. He pushed himself up the wooden steps and nearly collapsed in front of the door, catching his breath as his wounded body protested the movement. From inside, he could hear people talking, meaning the house wasn’t completely abandoned. With a shaky hand, he formed a fist and knocked on the door, causing the voices inside to go silent. For a moment, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had imagined the whole thing. Maybe the voices weren’t there. Maybe the blood loss had caused him to hallucinate a random house in the middle of a field.

After a few terrifying seconds, where Schlatt almost thought that nobody was going to respond to his knock, the door opened, and he was suddenly in front of a familiar face that he hadn’t seen in over two years.

“Schlatt?” the extremely recognizable voice of Tommyinnit questioned.

“Oh, great,” Schlatt muttered as he stared at the boy, “I’m hallucinating because of blood loss.”

“You need medical help. Quick,” Tommy replied instead of acknowledging Schlatt’s statement that he was imaginary. With gentle yet strong hands, Tommy guided the man inside, shutting the door behind them with his food. “Tubbo, get the medical supplies!”

“Tubbo is here too?” Schlatt couldn’t help but ask.

Tommy didn’t answer, too intent on leading Schlatt to the couch and sitting him down. After a few moments, Tubbo came rushing down the stairs, a bag of supplies in his grip. He hesitated for a second as he saw who was sitting on the couch, but shook himself out of it, instead electing to set the bag down on the coffee table and start pulling out supplies.

The atmosphere was tense and quiet as the two boys got to work. Tubbo’s mouth was pulled into a straight line as he focused on cleaning and dressing Schlatt’s wounds, asking Tommy to hand him something every so often. Tommy seemed just as stressed as his friend, not saying a word as they uncovered more and more lacerations across the man’s body.

Schlatt didn’t know what to say. In front of him were two boys he had known well when all of them were younger, and then fought against when they were older, and then didn’t see for years. One day they had just disappeared without a trace, never to be seen again. And here he was, walking for days in hopes of finding help, or even just escaping his own home, and he came across the two by pure luck. It was a strange set of circumstances that he wasn’t equipped to deal with.

After an indeterminate amount of time, Tubbo moved away from Schlatt and began to put all the medical supplies back into the bag, zipping it up and setting it on the floor. The boy sat down on the coffee table, right next to Tommy, and immediately leaned against his taller friend, obviously seeking out some type of affection.

The two boys stared at Schlatt for a bit, and the horned man stared right back. Neither knew quite how to break the strange tension between them, and neither wanted to offer up an explanation for why they were so far from the SMP.

“What happened?” Tommy finally asked, obviously referencing the wounds.

Schlatt let out a small sigh, his shoulders sagging a bit. “Wilbur Soot happened.”

Tommy immediately went tense, paying even more attention to the conversation.

“He kinda . . . took over the Dream SMP Faction. And then he took over Manburg. He’s gone batshit insane and won’t listen to anybody,” Schlatt elaborated.

“Oh, Herobrine!” Tommy stood up suddenly, startling both Schlatt and Tubbo. The teen immediately began to pace the length of the living room, fists clenching and unclenching by his sides. “This is all my fault. I never should’ve left him alone!”

Tubbo stood up and got in Tommy’s way, stopping his friend’s pacing. “This isn’t your fault, Tommy. Wilbur isn’t your responsibility.”

“But if I had just-”

“No, we are not going down this path of thinking again. Wilbur is the one who decided to fight these battles and we’re the ones that decided we didn’t want to. Anything that happened after that was not our fault.”

“Would you two mind elaborating on the whole leaving thing?” Schlatt interrupted, making the two boys look at him. “You kinda just disappeared one day without a trace.”

Tubbo grimaced a bit, while Tommy looked away and wrung his hands together.

“We just . . . ya know,” Tubbo muttered, making some random motion with his hand.

“No, I really  _ don’t  _ know,” Schlatt shot back.

Tommy sighed, putting his head in his hands for a moment before looking back up. “We were tired of fighting wars, okay? We were fucking child soldiers and we didn’t want that shit anymore. I was stuck in a ravine with my older brother that was spiraling into insanity and Tubbo was stuck working for you, a tyrannical leader. Are you really surprised we decided to just fucking leave?”

Schlatt stopped for a few moments, letting those words sink in. He had really exiled a  _ child  _ out of his home. He had really let a  _ child  _ deteriorate slowly within a ravine with no help. He really watched these two  _ children  _ fight in wars as if it was normal. He put a  _ child  _ on his cabinet and proceeded to plan to execute him when he betrayed the country that wasn’t even his home. He had really normalized this.

“I’m so sorry,” Schlatt uttered, not even able to make eye contact with the boys, though they weren’t even really boys anymore. Herobrine, it had been two years since they had disappeared, which meant that they were eighteen now. It was weird to even think about. “I never should’ve exiled you, Tommy, and I never should’ve put you on my cabinet, Tubbo. I should’ve let Wilbur back after I knew about his deteriorating mental state. I should’ve stopped Dream from letting you two fight, and I should’ve stopped this whole petty war. It wasn’t right of me to let children fight these battles.”

“It wasn’t right to have these battles at all,” Tommy responded, voice weak. “All these wars have been pointless.”

Schlatt only nodded in agreement.

Tubbo averted his eyes to the ground for a few moments before looking back up, while taking the hand of Tommy, who was still beside him. “We’ll let you stay here while you heal. It wouldn’t be right of us to kick you out when you’re injured, but, when you go back, please don’t tell anybody where we are.”

“Only Technoblade knows the coordinates, and that’s because he’s my brother and he helped us get away. We ran away for a reason, and that reason was that we were sick of being dragged into all of this shit. We don’t need people finding out where we are and dragging us back into these battles.”

Schlatt nodded once more, guilt bubbling up in his chest as he fully comprehended just how traumatized the two really were.

_ It doesn't have to be like this _

_ It doesn't have to be like this _

_ It doesn't have to be like this _

_ Killer whales, killer whales _

✧✧✧

That night, Schlatt found himself in a guest room, sleeping on a bed that was softer than he had expected. After having his wounds patched up, he was giving a tour of the house, and it was much more well built than what he had expected from the two teens. Of course, he should’ve known that Tubbo would take over on the architecture and create an incredible home for himself and his best friend.

The two teens had made dinner and they’d all eaten in a tense silence, questions that everyone was too afraid to speak hanging in the air. Afterwards, the two showed him to a guest room and asked him if he needed anything, leaving him there with a simple “goodnight” after he said there was nothing he needed.

Now, laying on the soft mattress and buried under the warm blankets, Schlatt allowed himself a moment to think about the two boys upstairs. They had taken him in, treated his wounds, and fed him as if he wasn’t their enemy. He had hurt both of them, given them both  _ trauma,  _ and yet they didn’t hesitate to use their medical supplies to patch him up and their food to feed him. He didn’t deserve their kindness in the slightest, and it caused waves of guilt to crash over him.

Schlatt understood why they left. The two seemed happier than he had ever seen them. In the small moments where the two joked around, when they weren’t tense over the fact that Schlatt had shown up on their doorstep, extremely injured and assuming that the two boys were a hallucination caused by his blood loss.

The entire home radiated an atmosphere of comfort. It was warm and familiar, despite the fact that Schlatt had never been there before. He could feel the memories within its walls, even though it had only been there for a couple of years. And knowing that the two had built it by hand only added to the familial feeling that seemed to emanate from all of its crevices. It was a feeling that Schlatt had always wanted, the type that he had craved in his childhood, but had never received from his cold and distant family. The place made him feel young,  _ free,  _ and it made him comprehend why the two boys had left. He would’ve left too if it meant he could live somewhere that felt like this.

It made Schlatt feel guilty, because he knew that the two would likely be overcome by the guilt of leaving once they knew the full story of what was going on in the SMP. And he knew that the two were going to ask; their concern for their friends and family would likely overtake the wish for bliss feeling of ignorance.

For now, however, Schlatt just wanted to sleep. The warm bed and the food in his stomach drew him closer and closer to the edge of rest, and his mind seemed to decide that it was time to give in. For the first time in a while, he fell asleep without drinking himself unconscious.

_ Here's that voice in your head _

_ Giving you shit again _

_ But you know he loves you _

_ And he doesn't mean to cause you pain _

✧✧✧

Schlatt awoke to light peeking through the window and basking the guest room in a gentle light. He blinked tiredly as he came back to real life, squinting against the sun rays, but not minding the warmth they brought along with them. With a small groan of protest and an aching body, the horned man dragged himself out from under the covers and stood up. He stretched his back, wincing as it gave a small  _ ‘pop’  _ and checked over his own body to make sure he hadn’t reopened any of his wounds.

The next thing he noticed was the sound of grunting, seemingly coming from outside. He shuffled over to the window and peeked out the curtains to look at the back of the house. He was greeted by the sight of a farm, which he hadn’t noticed the day before when he had arrived at the home from the front entrance. What really caught his attention, however, was that there was someone working on the farm. In the gentle dawn light, he could see Tommyinnit plowing the dirt rows by hand. It occurred to Schlatt in that moment that the food he had eaten the night before had to have come from somewhere, but he hadn’t even thought about the fact that the two teens had their own farm that they worked on.

Schlatt let go of the curtain, letting it fall back into place, and turned away. He took a few moments to just look over the guest room he had slept in, taking comfort in the room lit up by the dawn light, before he moved over to the door, walking out into the hallway.

From the direction of the kitchen, he could hear someone humming a familiar tune. With gentle footsteps, Schlatt crept down the hall and peeked his head out. He was greeted by his former secretary of state standing in the kitchen and cooking some eggs. After a few moments, Schlatt was able to recognize the tune as being Mellohi, remembering hearing it from one of Tommy’s discs.

_ Did the two teens have the discs? Surely they wouldn’t have left without them! _

Before Schlatt could announce his presence, Tubbo turned around and spotted him in the doorway.

“You’re just on time!” Tubbo greeted cheerfully. “I’m just finishing up breakfast!”

Schlatt nodded silently and followed Tubbo’s motion for him to sit down. Sitting at the wooden table, Schlatt watched as the teen finished up the food and started setting it on plates. He also placed glasses on the table and set down a jug of orange juice.

“We decided to plant an orange tree our first summer here and it’s actually given us a really good harvest,” Tubbo explained. Even though Schlatt didn’t ask about it, he still found himself interested by the little tidbit of information.

“Give me just a second,” Tubbo told the man cheerily as he walked out of the kitchen and towards where Schlatt assumed the backdoor was.

From where he was sitting, the horned man could hear the teen call out, “Tommy, I made breakfast!” A few moments later, the two teens walked in.

Schlatt took a moment to take in the two teens as they sat down for breakfast. Tommy looked tired, but not the type of tired that Schlatt was used to seeing him look like. The blond haired teen always seemed to have bags under his eyes back in the days when he snuck into Manburg. He always had this bone-deep dreariness that seemed to follow him around, but it was like it had disappeared. Sure, he looked tired, but it seemed as though it was more from a restless night and from working on the farm. He looked a bit sweaty and flushed from the early summer sun, but he smiled cheerily as Tubbo handed him a plate of eggs and toast.

Tubbo didn’t appear to be tired, but Schlatt had never really seen him tired. Back when Tubbo was on his cabinet, Schlatt remembered seeing him look much more anxious. In fact, every time the Manburg president was around, he looked nervous; that made sense, though, seeing as he was technically a traitor. Now, however, Schlatt couldn’t help but notice how cheery the teenager looked as he sat down and poured himself a glass of the homemade orange juice. 

“I was thinking about what we’re going to plant for the fall and I had an idea,” Tommy started the conversation once the three were finally seated at the table. Though it was obviously directed towards Tubbo, Schlatt still listened.

Tubbo immediately looked over at his best friend and tilted his head, a silent signal that he was paying attention.

“I think I wanna try growing a couple of pumpkins,” Tommy continued. “I mean, I don’t want a full row, but just enough so maybe we could make some pumpkin pie and such.”

“That’d be so cool!” Tubbo exclaimed, practically bouncing in his seat. “If we have extra, we could carve them!”

Tommy broke out into a smile and the two delved into a conversation about their future harvests and new recipes they could try. Schlatt could only watch quietly as the two talked, caught up in his own guilt for all the pain he had caused the two. He could see certain scars on their bodies, from the multiple wars they had gone through, and it made him feel sick, but he pushed through and continued to eat anyway.

Eventually, the room devolved into silence, but it was much more comfortable than the night before. They all basked into the warm morning light streaming through the windows as they all continued to eat. It was calm, which was something that Schlatt hadn’t experienced since he’d been unbanned from the Dream SMP.

Schlatt can’t help but wonder if this is what it would’ve been like if he had never rejoined the SMP, if he had never run in that election and then exiled Tommy and Wilbur. The guilt of having, at least in part, caused Wilbur’s mental deterioration weighed down heavily on him with every step. No matter how much he acted like he was some evil man who had no empathy for others, the reminder of how he hurt other people only fueled him in his destructive habits, such as the binge drinking he had to stop suddenly when Wilbur suddenly took Manburg back over and he was forced to flee under the threat of permadeath.

“Earth to Schlatt?” Tommy said, breaking the former president out of his thoughts. “You still with us, man?”

Schlatt shook his head a bit, as if he could completely disperse all the negative words running through his head. “Fine. Just lost in my thoughts.”

Tommy looked away for a moment, as if contemplating what to say next, but Tubbo spoke up before the blond could say anything. “Thinkin’ about what happened in Manburg?”

Schlatt opened his mouth to deny it, but couldn’t find it in himself to reject the accusation, seeing as it was true. He settled on a shrug and a nod, finding it better to just admit it.

Tubbo sighed and stood up from the table, beginning to clear the dishes off. Tommy stood as well, starting to wash the dishes as if it was routine, like clockwork. Schlatt figured it must be that, as the two seemed to work in tandem with each other so well. The two had always been attached at the hip, and probably became even more so when they ran away together. Schlatt found himself just sitting at the table and watching as the two cleaned up.

After a few long minutes of no speaking, accompanied by the sounds of dishes clattering and the running water, Tubbo and Tommy sat back down at the table, looking at the former president who hadn’t moved an inch. The two teens met each other’s eyes, seeming to make silent conversation, before turning their gazes back to Schlatt.

“What finally pushed Wilbur over the edge?” Tommy asked, not sugarcoating the question at all.

In response, Schlatt gave an answer just as blunt. “He was convinced that I had kidnapped both of you and was keeping you in Manburg. He spent a year planning how to take Dream down and then used our weakness without the admin’s protection to take over.”

Tommy nodded, suddenly finding the pattern of the wooden table much more interesting.

“Do you think there’s a way to take him down?” Tubbo questioned, taking over the conversation.

Schlatt sat back in his chair and rubbed at his face a bit, letting out a sigh as he racked his brain for every possible solution, just as he had done once Dream had been taken down by the madman now residing over his former country. “Besides you two coming back and stopping him, I don’t think there is.”

It was quiet again. Tommy and Tubbo met gazes and then immediately looked away, a silent exchange of words that Schlatt wasn’t privy to know.

“I don’t want to force you two to come back,” Schlatt finally admitted, voice low. “You had so much of your childhoods stolen away from you and you’re obviously much happier here. It would be wrong of me to-”

“We’ll go,” Tommy interrupted, looking up at Schlatt.

“You will?” Schlatt asked at the same time as Tubbo shouted, “We will?!”

“Well, I will, at least!” Tommy declared, standing up from his place at the table. “I’m not going to sit here and let people get hurt by my stupid fucking brother when I could just as easily stop him!”

Tommy paused for a few moments, looking away before turning back to Tubbo. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” he promised in a quiet voice. “I wouldn’t force you to do anything like that. But know that I’m going whether you like it or not.”

“Well, then I’m coming with you!” Tubbo exclaimed, standing up from his seat so he and Tommy were at the same level, though he still had to look up a bit to meet the blond’s eye. “I’m not gonna let you do this alone. It’s always been me and you against the world, and I’m not gonna let that end now.”

Tommy nodded in acceptance. “If we started packing today, how long do you think it would take us to leave?”

“Considering setting up systems to feed the animals and making sure the house is secure? I’m gonna say three days at most, two if we really push it.”

“Then let’s get to it.”

Schlatt was left dumbfounded, still sitting at the table, as the two set off to start preparing to leave, having reached the conclusion that they would come along and help him fight against Wilbur so quickly. It didn’t take any convincing, which only served to surprise Schlatt, but he supposed that the two had always had hero complexes as big as the server.

With a sigh, he stood up from the table and began to head back to the room he had stayed in the night before. After all, he had a journey to prepare for.

_ Please listen to him _

_ It's not too late _

_ Turn off the engine _

_ Get out of the car _

_ And start to walk _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme know what u thought!!


End file.
